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Separated Parents: Choose
– Litigation Trap or Conflict Resolution
you know that how you choose to resolve your separation issues today can
determine the likelihood and nature of future disputes? One choice can lead to a
revolving door of ongoing conflict and acrimony. The other can facilitate
you chose to work with lawyers whose expertise is litigation, there is a
likelihood that they will send blame and demand letters to each other which in
turn ratchets up conflict. With that style of dispute resolution, people try to
advance their position by outlining how they are better or more deserving than
the other while trying to demonstrate how the other is less deserving and worse
as a person or parent. As you can imagine, few would appreciate to be on the
receiving end of those kind of letters and you can understand why this can lead
to ongoing litigation. Even when a matter is decided at trial, the bad feelings
and conflict doesn’t go away. One parent may feel vindicated in the moment but
at the resolve of the other to eventually undo the decision to their favor. This
means that the one pleased with the outcome has a target on their back placed
there by the person dissatisfied, waiting to get even. This chart demonstrates
the litigation trap;
you choose to work with a conflict resolution specialist (counselors, mediators,
collaborative lawyers, divorce financial professionals), then there is a
likelihood of not only resolving the conflict, but accepting the outcome and
learning to resolve future matters peacefully. That process looks like
resolution processes keep you front and center. You determine the outcome you
can live with. Because you make choices throughout, you can craft an agreement
acceptable to both parents. This lends itself to peace.
you are unsure what process is right for you, interview those who practice
differently. Speak with litigators and speak with different conflict resolution
specialists. Make an informed decision and choose what is right for you.
Direnfeld, MSW, RSW
Call Gary for your next conference and for expert opinion on family matters. Services include counselling, mediation, assessment, assessment critiques and workshops.
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