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Counseling requests for children of separated parents.

Some children experience distress, the result of their parents' separation. In such circumstances, one or other parent either on their own initiative or on the advice of their lawyer, may seek counseling for their children. The request is generally to meet with the children on their own, brought by one parent.

Please note, that when I receive a request to meet with children of separated parents, I insist on meeting with both parents first. Depending on the level of conflict with the parents, I can meet with them individually or together. Only after I have met with both parents will I even consider meeting with the children. Hence meeting with the parents does not guarantee I will meet with the children.

The rationale for this approach is based in the concern that the issues befalling the children is the parental conflict. Meeting with the children first will do nothing to alleviate them from the parental conflict. In fact, meeting with the children first may only provide the illusion of help, when in fact they continue to be subject to the parental issues. Further, some children express upset for one or other parent and then the information obtained in counseling may be sought to bolster a parent's claim for sole custody or limited access to the other parent. This can be a misuse of the counseling situation as the complaints of the children may only reflect the issues of the parent who brings them.

Thus to help children whose distress stems from separated parents, I must work with the parents first and then, if necessary, the children directly. This approach, by necessity, has a built in assessment component as in the beginning, I am getting to know the parents, their history and current situation.

My first meeting with parents is generally three hours. If these meetings occur separately, then it my involve a 3 hours per parent. Further, before even meeting with the parents, I may request to read any legal documents and prior assessments that may be available. 

Parents may self-refer for this service.

Please note, I no longer involve myself with court processes. Counseling is provided on a closed basis, meaning you must agree that you or your designate or proxy will not call me to court or ask to provide a report for court purposes.

Fees:

As a social worker, I am respectful of people's different income levels. As such, the fee is set on a fee-for-service basis using a sliding scale that ranges from $150 - $400 per hour. The actual fee then is determined by your joint income, or may be determined by your assets. You will be charged from the beginning of the scheduled appointment time, even if you are late. Further, time will be taken at the beginning of the first meeting for me to present my qualifications, experience and approach to counselling so that service is provided on an informed basis. This is deemed part of the time provided and billed for. Payment can be provided by cash, eTransfer or cheque.

Fee Schedule (based on joint income):

Third Party Payments (EAP and other Benefit Providers):

Pleased be advised that I do not accept payment by third party payers (benefit or EAP providers) whatsoever. People are directly responsible for payment of services as per the information above at the time of service. A receipt will be provided with which persons can seek reimbursement from their EAP or benefit provider. I take no responsibility for your reimbursement. Reimbursement remains a matter between you and your benefit or EAP provider. 

If you do seek reimbursement through your benefit or EAP provider and I am called to verify the charge, I will do so with your implied consent. My disclosure will be limited to advising of my credentials as well as verifying the billing information, service provided and persons served. Please note, assessment is a clinical-legal service and may not be covered.  No information regarding the nature or content of information discussed will be provided.

Other:

1. Counselling is provided on a private and discreet basis.
2. Service is provided on-line only, currently using ZOOM.
3. Daytime appointments are available Monday through Wednesday. Evening appointments are available Monday through Wednesday. I typically set my appointment times for 9:30 am, 1:30 pm and 7:00 pm. The appointment times can be somewhat negotiable. I do not offer weekend appointments.
4. Persons may self-refer. Please call.
5. Persons are expected to attend sober for appointments.
6. Violence of any fashion will not be condoned.

Confidentiality:

All matters remain confidential with the following exceptions:

1. Any past or imminent harm or abuse to a child currently younger than 18 years of age will be reported to proper authorities.
2. Any imminent threat of harm to self or to another adult will be reported either to proper authorities and/or to other persons who may be required to intervene as necessary.
3. Counseling is provided on a closed basis, meaning you must agree that you or your designate or proxy will not call me to court or ask to provide a report for court purposes.
4. For quality assurance and in case of concern or complaint about service, all meetings will be recorded.
5. Information about yourself can be used to pursue payment in the event of non-payment.

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Gary Direnfeld, MSW, RSW

www.yoursocialworker.com 

gary@yoursocialworker.com

(905) 628-4847

Gary Direnfeld is considered a child-behaviour expert, a social worker, author of Raising Kids Without Raising Cane and Marriage Rescue: Overcoming Ten Deadly Sins in a Failing Relationship. Gary not only helps people get along or feel better about themselves, but also enjoys an extensive career in public speaking. He provides insight on issues ranging from child behaviour management and development; to family life; to socially responsible business development and management. Courts in Ontario, Canada consider Gary an expert on matters pertaining to child development, custody and access, family/marital therapy and social work.